Will those wedding bells toll for
thee?
With one in three marriages breaking down in the UK, women are more realistic about the prospect
of living happily ever after. With a stronger role in society and economic independence, marriage is
no longer the ultimate life goal.
The most important factor is that boyfriends or partners fit into women's lifestyles and get on
well with their social circle - a sign of the increasing power of women in relationships.
Evelyn spoke candidly about this and summed up the general feeling of the group: "I don't
know about marriage in the traditional sense, although I wouldn't rule it out, but it's
expensive, and so is getting divorced. I'd like someone to be a co-signatory on a mortgage
and buy a Christmas tree with. Considerations of love and loneliness aside, being in a
couple makes it so much easier economically, although I'd never go out with anyone for
money. I feel so bad about not being able to pay an equal amount in relationships. In fact, I
actually finished with somebody on the grounds that he'd never let me
pay for anything. I don't know what I'd say I was looking for in a partner - intelligence, similar values to me, a
slight quirkiness."
Clare, who is already in a relationship, gave a slightly different take on it: "Marriage, yes I do
want to get married. And I've already found my partner! Things that attract me to him:
intelligent, sociable, good looking, affectionate, trustworthy, generous, not moody,
spontaneous, lots of fun. You can leave him with anyone, and you don't have to worry about
looking after him. It's also really nice that he's best friends with the girls who I'm best friends
with, although we also have other groups of friends who are more 'his' or 'mine'".
Beth: "I would like to get married one day and have kids. I want someone intelligent and
interesting who I can talk to, and who dresses well and is quite trendy. Someone who reads
the Guardian and The Face, put it that way!"
Sarah: "Yeah, I'd like to. I think most girls still have the old fairy tale relationship thing in the
back of their mind, no matter how career minded they are. Why shouldn't you be able to if it
doesn't stop you getting ahead in your job? I just want someone who lets me do my own
thing and doesn't suffocate me, gets on with my friends, respects my career - basically my
best mate, but one that I fancy".
Overseas thrills
Beth: "This year I'm off to the South of France to stay in a
villa with ten friends - male and female, old school friends - and a long weekend in Paris with another girlfriend.
However, I'm not always that classy - last year, I backpacked around South America with a friend. I tend to go away
abroad twice a year with friends."
Becky: "I avoid package holidays like the plague, and do places that are less mainstream. Croatia last year, New
Orleans and Savannah this year. I like the sun, and tanning is my mission in life! Boyfriend doesn't, so we compromise
with stunning scenery, diverse culture and atmosphere".
Coping if the bubble burst tomorrow
Having discovered that women are more flexible and adaptable in the workplace, with a
wealth of 'portable' skills, I put this to the test by asking these young women what their
attitude would be to a sudden crisis.
Clare: "I'd feel ok about being able to go freelance. I'd love to do that really, but I'm aware
how tough it can be to make a regular living that way. I know I'm strong on being a good
listener and communicate well - good emotional intelligence, is that the phrase?"
Evelyn: "I think I could find another job easily, but I'd want to be able to be picky. I've finally
found what it is I want to do with my life so don't want to spend 40 hours per week doing
something I'm not really into."
Fiona: "If I lost my job tomorrow, I'd be worried -1 don't know why though, because I've got
good qualifications, and I'm good at what I do. I'm a good communicator. I like meeting new
people and hearing about different lives, and trying out new things."
Icons revealed
This was one of the most interesting questions for the group, as individuals reveal a lot about their own aspirations by their
choice of role model. The Noughty Girl emphatically rejects the air-brushed TV and pop stars of the celebrity magazines in
favour of women with strength, intelligence and character. This shows that they don't want to conform to stereotypes of
beauty and success, but identify with iconic (and often older) women who have their own opinions.
Clare: "Difficult one, my flippant reaction is to say Debbie Harry
and all of New Order - and numerous other musicians. I don't have any time for the J-Los,
Gwyneths and Geris of this world. Say no to the tits, arse and yoga brigade!"
Beth: "I admire clever women like Cherie Booth and Germaine Greer. And people like Julie
Burchill who aren't afraid to say what they think".
Liz: "It's got to be Madonna. I know it's a cliche, but I love her ability for reinvention,
boldness and forthrightness. Mind you, I also admire my boyfriend because he's laid back,
creative, knows his own mind and gets on with all my mates.
Sarah: "I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer - because I think she's cool and seems genuinely
sorted. Yeah I know she's younger than me!"
Conclusion
By focusing on these key areas, it is clear to see that the Noughty Girl is vocal and knows
her own mind, but identifies strongly with her friendship group. She hangs out with people
who are in sync with her personality. She is not afraid of her sexuality and enjoys a social
flirt with male and female friends. She wants to turn heads and show
off her own style - truly tapping into a 'pick and mix' identity from food, to clothes, to holidays.
The key to her is twofold. She retains her own identity but enjoys dipping into different styles, social groups and
ways of having fun. Ultimately, she has a direction in life, be it getting to the top of the career tree, getting married,
or any other challenges she wishes to pursue - but she'll get there in her own time, and in her own way.
|